As she translated the book that night she kept having to wipe at her face. Her vision was blurry and it was difficult to focus but it was better than the alternative. She knew that Devlin and Vash staying in the Wild Lands was a good idea and her feelings were pointless.
She’d meant it when Devlin had asked her if her being fine mattered because in her eyes it didn’t. Fari forgiving her had been sweet and she appreciated it but Nethrali still blamed herself because it had been her fault. She’d rushed into yet another situation without all of the information and messed things up.
She’d meant it when she’d told Zildath to do what he thought was best too. They could all make their own choices but she was staying out of asking any other gods for help. Having the people from Tyche’s demi-plane seeking refuge in hers was proof enough that she shouldn’t have asked the Goddess for help. She wasn’t willing to endanger anyone else.
With her mind swirling she kept having to go back and correct words she’d mistranslated and finally she set to book down as a loss for the evening pulling out her sketchbook instead. She tore out the page with the dragon that had very minute features from Zildath and all the notes she needed to correct it, then began making the correct drawing as he’d demanded the first time.
She picked up the other one when she was done and burned it with a flick of her magic and swept the ashes up into the piece of fabric she’d originally used for those vampire ashes she’d dumped in the river. No sense in leaving a mess for Aralynn to have to clean up later. Stretching out on the floor she tried to again to focus on the translation of the book. She went back over the work she’d managed so far and made corrections here and there, now that she understood Elvish a bit better.
Hopefully she’d be able to get an understanding of the mysterious language of creation that Rahini had told her about. It annoyed her to no end that she’d been unable to retain any of it properly after the trip to the Fey Court and Frostfall. The entire situation with Frostfall annoyed her but she shoved it aside.
Talithey was entitled to feel however she wanted about it and Zildath could feel however he wanted regarding her reaction to the way Talithey had treated her. They’re feelings were their own and she had threatened them all so any sort of friendship they might have been heading towards was done. Take was sweet and Nethrali knew she’d still try to be pack as she saw it.
At the thought of that her eyes filled with tears again and she brushed them away. Devlin and Vash had things they felt were important to them and just because she’d miss them didn’t mean she could lose sight of what they were doing. It hurt knowing that after the Fey Court she’d likely never see them again though. It tore at her just as much as knowing she’d likely never be able to free Nyx unless she found a way to save Fomher and the more she tried for that the less possible it seemed.
She’d screamed repeatedly at the man who had saved her from the fire in Alinwick that he should have let her die and the longer this situation went on the more she wished he had. It was more than she could handle.
She hadn’t been meant to carry around that book with Loki’s soul in it. That should have been taken care of by the Nanny. It was still so confusing to her how she’d ended up with the book and what had happened to that woman, but she was here now. Running was out of the question, no matter how appealing the thought was.
Disappearing into the city and not looking back sounded like the best option but it would just piss everyone off and take time away from the things they needed to do. She flipped her sketchbook to the page with the copy of the spell Danear had given to Sariel and studied it. Next she pulled out the spellbook and made copies of the three spells that had the symbols in them. Ripping the pages out she lay them on the floor in front of her and studied them all side by side to see if she could make any connections.
She’d make copies for Vash as well, because she was better at researching these things. Pushing the thought aside she focused on changing Tongues out for Zone of Truth so that Zildath didn’t have to get physical with the High Priest unless he absolutely wanted to. It was a small way she could help though she had no idea if it would be welcome.
Once the swap was made she sighed and lay on her stomach on the floor with the window open and flipped to a new page in her sketchbook. She’d have to see about getting another if time allowed for it. Her intention had been to draw Take in her wolf form but instead found herself drawing Devlin in a battle pose with armor that had a lion emblazoned on the chest piece. A lion that looked suspiciously like he had when he’d been transformed during the full moon. Without realizing it she fell asleep muttering to herself ‘Feet on the path, eyes on the trees.’