I should begin by saying that I am a coward. I have been a coward in all of my reincarnations. That ends here. After leaving the Kalturo base memories started coming back piece by piece and I got bolder with prodding them for more info. I am so fucking ashamed to say that I actively avoided pushing at the memories of you because I was afraid of what I might see. Afraid to see everything you might have gone through because I failed to protect you. Michael and I should never had gone up to that gate. We should’ve just left the cave.
I promise this letter isn’t just a pitiful regret spill.
What I mainly wish to say is if you allow it, I am here now. I don’t think I could ever make this ‘right’ especially with what I’m sure you’ve read from my SVT Securities file. But I will try. If you ever want to tell me about the lives you’ve lived, the missions you’ve had, or whatever you’ve endured through the hands of the Lemi Hosa or whatever else has come your way, I will gladly listen to that too. And I will especially answer any questions you have for me. Angry or not.
I have come to a weird as shit crossroads in my life where I don’t know what I want to do with it. All I know is maybe I shouldn’t repeat the same damn cycles over and over again like I seem to be good at. Because I Imagine someday people just stop reincarnating if their not learning anything or growing or…however this bullshit works. But if you would like to be a part of this new road, it would mean a lot.
If you do not want any further contact with me, I will respect your wish and keep my distance. Just know I will always be there if you need help. For everything and anything. I would take a bullet for you.
You don’t have to mention this letter ever again if you don’t want to, at the end of the day, these are my wishful words. I don’t dare expect you to act on this.
I’m going to stop writing now. If I keep going it will be more of a clusterfuck of my thoughts and no one wants that. And I think I’m allergic to the ink
I love you.